This week, Stuff reported on a story that seemed so absurd, it caught our attention: the idea to fence a pool on a remote island, just meters away from the Pacific Ocean.  
 
On Motukawaiti Island, 3.5km off Northland’s coast, authorities have mandated that a small swimming pool be enclosed. This pool, which has existed without incident for two decades, suddenly requires a barrier to protect against the unlikely event of unsupervised children under five accessing it.  
 
Meanwhile, the vast Pacific Ocean lapping at the island’s shores remains unfenced and unregulated. The owners’ argument that the sea poses “a similar or arguably greater risk to children” fell on deaf ears. Bureaucracy, it seems, only extends its reach to man-made hazards, leaving nature’s perils unchecked. 
 
This incident brings to mind Eric Crampton’s 2017 book, “The Outside of the Asylum,” in which he lauded New Zealand as a bastion of common sense in a world gone mad with excessive regulation.  
 
When asked for comment, Eric said that council swimming pool inspectors are part of a decades-long invasion of the Outside of the Asylum by bloody-minded Vogon bureaucrats.
 
But perhaps he had it all wrong. If a pool on a private island needs fencing, shouldn’t we consider more ambitious safety measures? Why stop at the pool when we could fence the Pacific Ocean itself?  
 
This line of thinking brings to mind Douglas Adams’ character Wonko the Sane from “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” - which is, of course, where Eric got the idea for his book’s title.  
 
Wonko, upon realising the world had gone mad, built his house inside-out, dubbing it “The Outside of the Asylum”. With bookshelves and soothing paintings on the exterior, Wonko’s creation served to keep the insanity of the world contained. 
 
Following this logic, what other natural dangers should we protect ourselves from? Perhaps it’s time to put a roof over New Zealand? We could start with Nelson, notorious for its sunny weather and dangerous UV rays. A giant sunshade over the city would surely solve that problem. 
 
Why stop there? The Southern Alps pose a clear falling hazard. Should we not wrap them in bubble wrap, just to be safe? And those treacherous beaches with their untamed waves and sneaky rip currents – clearly, they need to be paved over and fitted with handrails. 
 
If you think all this is too absurd to be happening to us, just visit Motukawaiti Island – and despair.