Now is the time for all good Jedi to come to the aid of their country.

In the classic Cold War film, Dr Strangelove reminded us that it is pointless for a country to have a doomsday device if it is kept secret.

While the Cold War ended more than a quarter century ago, turmoil has engulfed the international community.

American taxation of trade routes to outlying countries like New Zealand is in dispute after it abandoned the Pacific’s Trade Federation.

China’s National Assembly eliminated term limits for its Supreme Chancellor.

And droid armies are rising.

Fortunately, the Census is at hand.

In the 2006 Census, over 20,000 people revealed themselves as Jedi when listing their religion. In 2013, the number of Jedi dropped to just over 19,000 despite population growth.

New Zealand is fortunately positioned, but we cannot rely only on wide oceans to protect us. Bespian was over 49,000 light years from the Galactic Core, but that hardly stopped the Empire from seizing Cloud City.

And so it’s time for some game theory.

Our Jedi deterrent can work well if it is expected to be large.

It would be one thing if Census suppressed Jedi figures on national defence grounds. Our potential enemies might reasonably expect the Jedi muster to have increased since 2013. The blood tests required by Immigration New Zealand provide extra points to migrants with high midi-chlorian counts.

That the New Zealand Defence Force makes no mention of the country’s Jedi contingent in its Defence Capability Plans only reveals that their role is so powerful that they need not talk about it.

But the Jedi count will not be kept secret. The Government Statistician is committed to Open Data, as is the Statistics Minister. If only a handful of our Jedi declared themselves on Census Day, it would be too difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order.

New Zealand has a strong Jedi contingent. But like Dr Strangelove’s Doomsday Device, deterrent capability is limited if nobody knows about it. And Statistics New Zealand knows this. That is why Jedi is one of the religions listed as an option on the online forms, making it easier for Jedi to self-declare.

It is illegal to lie on the Census, so I could not declare myself to be a Jedi. But my daughter… the Force is strong with that one.

Census Day is 6 March. Are you our only hope?